Just Saying!

They go to church.  They go to restaurants.  They follow us to the dinner table.  They travel in cars.  They compete with group activities.  They rudely interrupt eye-to-eye contact.  They steal our focus.  They silence conversations in progress.  They frustrate and interrupt valuable one-on-one time between couples and people in general. 

They are cell phones.

Recently my wife and I were enjoying dinner out.  While waiting for our order, I noticed the full room was amazingly quiet.  When I further investigated, here’s what I saw:  Most everyone in the restaurant was on his/her cell phone and paying no attention to the people in their party.  It saddened me.  What was wrong with that picture?

I have an axe to grind.  How did we survive before cell phones?  We went from party lines, to pay phones, to personal landlines to all consuming cell phones.  I too have embraced this communication revolution.  But I will not allow my cell phone to incarcerate me.  I make it a point to put it down throughout my day.

Okay, most of us have them.  That’s a fact.  But can we at least set them aside or silence them during dinner, when sitting in church, while driving, at the restaurant, at bedtime, during family get-togethers, while engaged in one-on-one conversations, or while we spend time with ones we love?

Cell phones are robbing us from the three ways Jesus communicated:  “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched – this we proclaim concerning the Word of life” (1 John 1:1).  When the Master spoke, He was heard, seen and could be touched.  These are vital components to effective communication.

Okay, I have grinded my axe enough, but will you at least give what I’ve said some kind of consideration?  I miss hearing, seeing and lovingly touching others with whom I converse.  Can we welcome back the fine arts of listening, watching and appropriately touching the people with whom we verbally engage? 

Cell phones and other communication venues are here to stay, but we don’t have to continue sacrificing the necessity and joy of effective communication as demonstrated by our Lord.

Just saying!

Sticks and Stones

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me.” 

We may have mimicked these words while playing as children, but we were kidding no one.  Unkind and hurtful words spoken in haste can follow us throughout life!  They become soul wounds. Words are forces that either heal or hurt.  They either affirm or negatively affect us. 

Someone I know was often referred to as “a dumbass” during his childhood and it took him many years to shake the emotional and residual effects of what became a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Sadly, those words became the filter through which he viewed life.  I know, because that “someone” was me!”

That’s why I love to affirm others today.  God wants us to call forth the potential in them, to speak life-altering words over them.  Such was the case when I was seven years old.

As a boy, no one had difficulty picking me out of family photos.  I was the one with the big head!  From infancy through early adolescence my head grew disproportionately with the rest of my body.  Classmates would sneak up behind me, tap the back of my head and yell, “Hey, fathead!”  I laughed on the outside, but inside these words cut like a knife. 

One summer day a pastor and his wife visited our home to invite us to attend their little church.  I was hiding in the shadow of the door to our home; however, like a magnet the wife’s attention was directed toward me.  She asked, “What’s your name?” I replied with a sheepish grin.

She then knelt down, her eyes level with mine, placed both hands on my head and said, “My, what a handsome little boy you are.”  Only God knows the full impact of those kind words!  Hands of love embraced my head where hands of ridicule had often struck.  In that instance, my life was changed.  That’s how powerful words can be!

Overcome with emotion, I ran to my bedroom and cried.  I had experienced unconditional love and acceptance.  A soul wound was healed that day!

Words of affirmation, perhaps insignificant to other members of my family, pulled out a deep-seated hurt from within me.   Her hands were Jesus’ hands extended.  Kind words literally changed the course of my life.  I immediately wanted to become a preacher, although at the time I did not really know what a preacher did – I just knew I wanted what that pastor’s wife possessed!

Yes, “sticks and stones do break bones, and words can harm us.”  However, life-giving words impact all of us in ways too numerous to understand.

Do You Speak “Christianese?”

It’s a language spoken by those meshed into church culture.  “Churchy” Christians speak it fluently!  Let me illustrate.

“I’m so glad I’m saved, regenerated and born again.  I appreciate His wonderful mercy and grace in my life.  Every day I seek His face, asking Him to meet every need of my life, as I place my hands in His nail-scarred hands.  I ask Him to lead, guide and direct me in His perfect will.   I plead the blood over all the details of my life.  I invite Him to daily convict me of my sin that I might experience His sanctifying grace.  I look forward to each and every Lord’s Day, when I gather with those of like-precious faith to lift up holy hands and to hear messages from God’s Holy Word.  I enjoy listening to the testimonies of God’s saints.  What about you?  Have you been washed in the blood of the Lamb?”

Did you enjoy the preceding cliché festival?

I’m really not trying to poke fun at what I call “Christianese,” the language of many who hide behind church doors and who seldom, if ever, mingle with those outside the world of church. But I do want you to understand that while we’re not of the world, we’re still in it; and we need to communicate the Gospel in ways that those outside the realm of church life can clearly understand.

I am on a quest to remind Christians everywhere to re-think their manner of communication to those who are far from God and who need to find new life in Christ. I believe I’m accurate when I say the world knows more about what the church is against, than what the church is for!  I still laugh about the little girl who after returning from church was asked by her father, “What did the pastor preach about today?”  She replied, “Sin.”  He then said, “What did he say about it?”  She replied, “I think he’s against it!” 

Law-based preaching seemingly dominates our pulpits, while anti-grace proponents continue to harshly judge and criticize those who are trying to make a difference in a generation that continues to remain suspect of the church’s real message.   

Perhaps like you, I surf Facebook quite regularly.  And I’m constantly amazed at how predictably many Christian streams communicate the gospel message.  I find that a lot of Christian ministries forget their target audience.  They speak “Christianese” to people who either have never darkened the door of a church, or who know little about the Christian Faith.  And sadly, communication breakdowns continue to create barriers.

Then, I regularly note that Christians and churches in general tend to “talk down” to people.  I often say, “You don’t achieve positive results with a negative (condescending) message.” The Gospel of Jesus Christ is earth’s greatest, most compelling message.  Why then do we major on what’s wrong with people?  Why do we often emphasize what we’re against? 

I completely understand that God has not gone soft on sin, but I don’t believe we have to beat people up with a hard-sell message.  Many sermons and churches communicate with law-based Bible thumping instead of hope-filled messages.  We often hear, “You should…” “You never…” You always…”  These three phrases, when used by spouses during marital spats incite further anger; so what makes us think our listeners are going to embrace what we say if we constantly tell them “what they’re not doing?” Remember, “the Law came through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17).   

In addition, we have more than enough angry messengers.  Perhaps some preachers who say, “We love the sinner, but hate their sin,” struggle with personal biases and anger issues that override any good they attempt to achieve.  I recently heard a minister talking about “those sick-o fags,” all the while discerning anger, even hate in his voice.  Angry preaching and angry preachers always discredit our Gospel of love.

I also grow weary of ministers criticizing other churches and other well-meaning, sincere ministers of the Gospel.  This serves only to aid and abet the enemy camp.  Why would any Christian sit under a minister who constantly criticizes and maligns other churches outside their stream of theology and practice?  This anger-driven type of ministry smacks of self-righteousness.  The world needs to see our love for one another in the face of disagreement. I applaud all the Christ-honoring churches in Jefferson!

Yes, Jesus is Holy.  Yes, He is the way to heaven.  Yes, He wants us to serve Him with our whole heart.  But on the flipside, the Apostle Paul reminds us that “God demonstrates His own love for us in this: That while we were sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).  And He needs us, His representatives of grace, to speak this language in a clear and effective manner.   

Always remember, while “Christianese” is a major language spoken by many church-goers, it has a lot of dialects, and they too tend to bring conflicting messages to a world that is desperately looking for relevant answers to life’s every day problems. Perhaps we need to quit defending what we believe and engage people out of a broken heart. 

Do we hate what sin does in peoples’ lives, or are we more interested in setting people straight according to the dictates of our personal convictions?  The late evangelist, David Wilkerson used to tell preachers, “Sermons that have not been wept over have no place in the pulpit.” Perhaps he was right.

Let’s determine as God’s people to speak in understandable terms to those who are far from God and never darken the door of our churches.  Let’s communicate on their level of understanding and make this wonderful Gospel relevant and easy to embrace. I’ve heard it said for years, “Preach the Gospel and use words if necessary.”