Kids Out of Control

Have you ever been around children who were out of control?  And did you notice they acted even worse when the parents were around? 

Believe it or not, children not only need boundaries, but they actually respect them.  David said it well in Psalm 51:5, "In sin did my mother conceive me..."  Those cute little bundles of joy soon grow into older children who need to be trained and guided.  We see the sin nature begin to manifest early on!  Children must be taught to understand and obey righteous and reasonable boundaries from a very young age.  If parents don't establish proper boundaries, the children will establish their own, and the end results will produce out-of-control children.

Forget about those humanistic teachers who say that boundaries destroy the child's potential and creative flow.  If you let your child talk back to you and disrespect you at three years of age, you may very well be visiting him or her in jail at 23!  Once you give boundaries to a child and enforce the consequences of breaking those boundaries, carry through with your "promise."  Don't say, "I'm going to only tell you one more time" (for the fifth time!).  Children need consistency!  Also parents, never allow your children to pit you against one another.  After you come to a mutual decision, support one another.  Your child will soon learn that he cannot manipulate you.

God gives us children and trusts us to help shape their character and behavior and most important, lead them to the Savior.  We do this through instruction, lots of love and godly discipline.  We must be careful not to break their spirit, but we must break their will.  Remember too, there's a difference between disciplining and shaming a child.  Don't say, "You're no good."  Instead say, "Your behavior is not acceptable."  Obedience is learned, and some obedience is learned through suffering.  It worked that way with Jesus.  "Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8).

Remember, parents can't wait until their children are 10-12 years old to begin this process. Training begins during infancy.  All four of my children were taught boundaries from the time they learned to crawl.  We never moved our household trinkets up higher to avoid breakage. The children received a smack on their hands if they touched them.  If I said, "No, no," that's what I meant, and when they defied the order, they paid the consequences.

Did we spank?  Yes we did!  Reasonably and on their back side!  Pain is a teacher!  Controlled and intentional spanking not driven by anger does not constitute abuse.  It is perhaps unwise to exercise spanking in public, so "minister" to your child in a private place!  Again, humanistic mindsets have many parents afraid to touch their children, so unfortunately many children are growing up without boundaries.  Many children today control their homes and sadly their school classrooms because of this unscriptural practice.  Sometimes I wonder, "Who's the parent and who's the child?"  Reasonable boundaries, an understanding of and love for authority, and the teaching of respect and godliness need to be re-introduced to our children.

Telling parents to "Shut up," rolling of the eyes, temper-tantrums, the raising of voices, and blatant disobedience all constitute disrespect and eventually produce rebellious kids.  I'm not recommending abuse, of course, but I do recommend that parents start training their children during their formative years.  Don't work to be their friend; be their parent first!

Why Johnny Can't Read

I have a theory.  And I think I’m right.  The Scriptures declare that Satan is a master strategist:  “In order that Satan might not outwit us, for we are not unaware of his schemes”  (2 Corinthians 2:11).  Another translation says, “We are not ignorant of his devices.”  However, I’m not sure about that. 

I think we as a church culture have been ignorant or at least lured into a subtle sleep.  And it has to do with Johnny not being able to read.  Let me explain.

In 1955 best-selling author, Rudolf Flesch, wrote a book entitled, “Why Johnny Can’t Read.”  This book attacked the discontinuance of phonics to teach children to read.  Later TIME Magazine would ask the same question when reading levels continued to substantially decline across the country.  In 1983 Flesch wrote the sequel, “Why Johnny Still Can’t Read,” continuing his campaign to reform reading in America.

Over the years I’ve heard Christian leaders say, “Satan is stupid, he’s a defeated foe.”  However, this is only partially true.  Yes, Jesus defeated Satan on the cross, winning over death and hell.  But the consummation of that victory will not be fully realized until Jesus returns and Satan is ultimately cast into the Lake of Fire.  In the meantime, the battle for men’s souls continues to rage.  Individuals are still called upon to make Christ their Savior and Lord; and because we still live on this fallen planet, the consummation of all things still lies ahead (this is fodder for a separate blog). So, the previous statement represents only partial truth.

Satan is a lot of things, but ‘stupid’ is not one of them.  If Satan is stupid, then where does that leave us?  The Scriptures tell us “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the words of Christ” (Romans 10:17).   Christianity has always been a “Religion of the Book.”  The Bible, when read and acted upon, transforms the human spirit.  Other books inform and conform the way we think, but only the Bible transforms the heart of man.  Jesus declares, “The words I have spoken to you are full of the Spirit and they bring life” (John 6:63).

I personally believe the reason “Johnny can’t read” is because the enemy secretly, subtly and with prolonged determination undermined the educational system of this country.  The proof is in the pudding.  Reading skills have continued to decline ever since the use of phonics was removed from our elementary schools.  I thank God that Jefferson Schools embraced the use of phonics in the 1960’s.  I was taught to read in small groups where phonics helped us sound out difficult words. 

What’s my point?  When reading skills decline, Bible reading or any reading for that matter, is shelved for lesser pursuits.  When “Johnny no longer reads,” the written words of Christ are unable to bring life-changing results.  I was alarmed when I recently heard a man raised in the 1970’s say, “I never learned to read and I hate to read.”  At first I thought, “How sad.”  Then, the further reality of his statement set an alarm off in my spirit.  That’s one way Satan undermines Christian endeavor today.  When believers don’t like to read, or can’t read, they place in jeopardy their ability to grow to maturity.  My friend, Satan may be defeated; however, he is anything but stupid!   

While conspiracy theories abound at other levels, I’m convinced Satan has a master plan to undermine the Word of God and low reading scores indicate that he has successfully lured at least two generations of students away from reading groups, libraries and the Bible.

Perhaps our churches should be offering remedial reading classes as part of their evangelistic outreaches and strive to bring back reading skills to an America where “Johnny can’t read.” 

We have moved far from our roots.  In frontier America, the Bible was one of the key texts used to supplement reading.  Do you remember the fireside stories about Mary Todd Lincoln reading to her son Abe from out of the Bible?  McGuffey Readers were introduced in 1836 and used in American schools until 1960.  Both the Bible and McGuffey Readers kept reading skills at an effective working level.  Reading by the use of phonics (sounding out) was presented as both a necessity and as a hobby for aspiring students.  For many decades the enemy has successfully lured people away from the absolute necessity to read well.  So, when “Johnny can’t read,” Johnny is unable to draw from the life-sustaining words of Christ that save and mature him in his faith.  This remains a cause for concern!

Are you the parent of a preschooler?  Then let me encourage you to make reading a priority in your home.  You may want to turn off the television, lay aside the cell phone and video games and make good books available for your children.  Buy a good children’s Bible, read along with them and make reading fun.  Good reading skills will produce eternal results!

Mr. Mole's Skware Dancing Class

Life, of course, has to be taken seriously, but there are times when a good laugh is needed.  Nothing perhaps is healthier than learning to laugh at our own “funnies.”

As a boy I was shy.  Cripplingly shy.  I literally faked “whatever” to get out of standing in front of people.  This I did once while in second grade at Jefferson Elementary School. 

Music class was an extra-curricular event, which I despised.  Our teacher was Mr. Mole, a quiet, unassuming little man.  One day he announced that we were going to learn how to square dance.  I immediately conjured up a scheme to escape this terrifying prospect.  My plan would have worked well had I been a better speller, and my penmanship more convincing.  Let me explain. 

At church, I heard my pastor say that dancing was sinful.  That became my escape hatch!  My plan was carefully thought out and executed.   With pen in hand, I wrote a brief note to Mr. Mole.  It said, “Dear Mr. Mole.  Pleas excuze Roger from skware dancing because it is aginst are religun.  Thank you, Mrs. Loomis.”    

I confidently handed Mr. Mole my letter from home and made my way back to our regular classroom.  I had done it.  I got out of square dancing.  Yay!

The very next day, the “real Mrs. Loomis” sent a note to school saying, “Dear Mr. Mole, Roger was punished for lying to you and writing that note.  It won’t happen again!  Mrs. Joyce Loomis (576-5111).”

With a sore backside and forced resolve in my heart, I re-joined the square dancing class in progress!