Body Language

Did you know that we often talk without opening our mouth?  We call this body language.  Please take a moment to answer the following questions.

What does it mean:

1.  When people roll their eyes?

2.  When people do not make eye contact or move their eyes around the room when you’re talking to them?

3.  When people stand around with their arms folded?

4.  When people stand at a distance refusing to say anything?

5.  When people walk into a room and say nothing as they make their way through the crowd?

6.  When people remain awkwardly silent?

You well know the answers.  Body language can hold us back from connecting with others.  It’s easy to read but can be wrongly interpreted.  I’m not talking about being shy; I’m referring to poor people skills.  Throw in uninviting or even poker-faced looks and matters only worsen.  

We need to understand the power of body language.  Dr. Richard Dobbins called it the “invisible imprint,” or the vibe we get or give away when others come around us.  People exude both negative and positive vibes.  How do they feel when you enter a room? 

Do you struggle with relationships?  Is it tough for you to make new friends?  Do people avoid you?  While in a crowd, do you find it difficult to mix with others?  If so, you may need to take an honest look at the vibe or feeling you bring into a given setting.  It may be holding you back from enjoying healthy personal interactions.  

Be honest with the guy you see in the mirror!  Ask yourself, “How do I make people feel when I’m with them?  Your open, honest answer to this question could mean the difference between having friends or spending your life secluded and lonely.   

Invisible Imprint

What feelings come to mind when you think about Adolph Hitler?  Billy Graham? Sister Teresa? Marilyn Monroe?  Barney Fife?  Hugh Hefner?  Tom the Cat and Jerry the Mouse?  What about Jesus Christ?

What feelings come to mind when you think about yourself?

Years ago Dr. Richard Dobbins wrote a book entitled, “Invisible Imprint,” which helped me to understand why I’m drawn to some people and repelled by others.  As a believer, of course, we are admonished to love one another.  I get that.  But, like you, there are some people I just don’t like.  When I see them coming, I want to run the other direction! 

Dr. Dobbins defines visible imprint as “what others feel when in our presence.”

He writes, “Throughout our lives, in both subtle and profound ways, every human being leaves invisible imprints that influence the people in our lives.  They leave their imprints on us.  Some people call them vibes or impressions.”

Why are some physically unattractive people so popular, while others who are beautiful and handsome so miserable to be around?  The answer, Dr. Dobbins writes, is found in their presence – the feelings they create in others.  Our presence is the product of our choices over time.

Wow!  Isn’t this concept self-revealing?  Now I understand why some people are hard for me to be around.  I just don’t want what’s in them to get on me!  This statement perhaps sounds arrogant, but at this juncture in my life, I don’t care to hear about any unnecessary drama; hate-filled, judgmental or critical comments, negative in-put; family and friend altercations, etc.

I’m working feverishly to get myself in alignment with God’s plan and purposes for this season of my life.  I think I know what vibes I give off when I’m around people – both positive and negative, and I’m asking the Lord to help me to exude a positive, Christ-honoring presence.

Remember, all of us make choices on a continued basis that impact the presence we demonstrate to others; so let’s determine to make the best choices possible, as we look to God’s Word for direction and as we place our days in God’s care and direction.

Are you holding on to past choices and mistakes that make you give off negative vibes?  Do people tend to avoid a long-term relationship with you?  What kind of vibe or visible imprint to you emit?  Be bold!  Ask the Lord to show you what others feel when in your company. 

The worse thing we can do is to blame others for how we act!  Or how we feel. We are responsible for our own vibe!  Think about it!

Your belief system reflects the choices you make throughout life and determine the presence you exhibit around others.  Make it a positive one! Remember…

If you accept a belief, you reap a thought.

If you sow a thought, you reap an attitude.

If you sow an attitude, you reap an action.

If you sow an action, you reap a habit.

If you sow a habit, you reap a character.

If you sow a character, you reap a destiny.

What invisible imprint are you emitting today?