Two Women

In Philippians 4:2-3 Paul very succinctly deals with an apparent squabble between two women in the church: 

“I plead with Euodia and I plead with Synteche to be of the same mind in the Lord.  Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help those women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my coworkers, whose names are in this book of life.”

Evidently, the fallout between these two women was serious enough for Paul to address in the manner he did.  The apostle knew that such dissension could bring church division.  Unfortunately, as sick as it may sound, some thrive on drama.  Their lives are drama-driven!

Details are sketchy but we do know that both women were leaders in the church at Philippi.  He further recognized that both women needed a third party to help them move past their disagreement.  They needed an arbitrator.  Yes, saved people at times refuse to die to self when engaged in relationship battles.

I read this brief passage and I think back to times of church division in my pastoral ministry.  Unfortunately, some pastors believe the solution rests solely on prayer and that’s a good starting place.  Many times, however, such contentions need to be confronted firmly and with tough love.  When disagreements escalate beyond resolution, church leaders must take corrective action.  Such was the case with Euodia and Synteche.

At Hope Community Church I keep my ears to the ground when it comes to church conflict.  The enemy (Satan) wants nothing more than to divide the work of God.  He has a bag of tricks. One includes individuals becoming offended or at odds with one another.  Following are precautionary issues that I look for when two or more individuals experience relationship fallout.

Please note:  Men too, experience interpersonal conflicts.

1.  Obviously, whatever their bone of contention, Euodia and Synteche were causing church-wide unrest.  Two people in conflict may subsequently try to make their problem a church issue.  This I guard against tenaciously.  They talk to others in the church to build a case in their defense.  In Proverbs 6:19 the author relates one of seven things that God hates is “one who sows discord among the brothers.”  This is not about taking sides; it’s about two people owning up to their own sins, and relationship failures.

2.   Paul knew that Euodia and Synteche, because of their widespread influence, might look for others to join them in their “cause.”  Nothing good ever comes from taking up the offenses of others.  Did you know that all of us carry influence?  And did you know that we use our influence to either hurt or bless the cause of unity?  Don’t pick up offenses!  Instead, pray for restitution among the quarreling parties.  And whatever you do, please be careful not to add fuel to the fires of contention.  Be a peacemaker not a troublemaker!

3.  We say that Hope Community is a “No Drama Church.”  In other words, we ask people to not make their private issues public.  Of course, we want to pray for the needs of people, but we insist that personal issues be taken to the Lord in prayer on a confidential basis.  The church lobby, small group, or social media is not the place to perpetuate drama.  Some individuals talk too much and tell too much. Daily drama sucks the life out of people and gives the enemy constant access into their situations.  I personally despise it when believers use Facebook to air their dirty laundry. Such posting brings reproach on the gospel.  Don’t give the devil opportunity to implode your drama.  Are you a “Drama Queen or King?”  Then abdicate your throne today!

4.  Euodias and Synteche were leaders in the local church.  Paul knew that leaders often disqualify themselves from effective ministry when they engage in church division, on-going drama or taking up others’ offenses. That’s why he tells them to “be of the same mind in the Lord.”  Leaders and people in general often forget that negative perception can disqualify them from future ministry opportunities.  Are you a leader?  Ask yourself, “How am I perceived by others?”

5.  Something in human nature rallies us to immediately take sides when others experience fallout.  This is dangerous.  Always remember:  there’s one side, the other side and then the right side.  Individuals who determine to get involved in the offenses of others always seem to search for weak links in the church – immature, emotionally broken people – to perpetuate their offenses.  We at Hope Community keep our eyes peeled for such shenanigans. This is what we refer to as “dirty pool.”

6.   Finally, all of us are subject to relationship fallout.  Paul’s direct appeal to Euodias and Synteche suggests that we are never beyond correction when emotions and actions escalate.  We must at all costs protect the integrity of the gospel. Damage control always becomes necessary when believers refuse to righteously resolve their issues.  At Hope we watch and pray against such goings-on and are determined to confront anything that hurts the forward momentum God has given us.  

One "Whale" of a Story!

Imagine sitting on a Mediterranean beach sometime around 766 B.C.  Suddenly, as you’re watching the waves pounding the shore, a whale comes within close sight and projectile vomits out “something.”  Later, you discover it’s “someone” – a seaweed-covered, wrinkled man.  It’s a disgusting spectacle, but one for the books.

Jonah and the whale is one of my favorite Old Testament stories.  As a boy, I marveled at the run-away preacher who got swallowed by a great fish.  As an adult, I marvel at the imagery and suspense of the whole story.

These four chapters are fast moving and action packed.  Many who renounce the literal interpretation of the Bible struggle with the idea that a man could possibly survive in the belly of a great fish (whale) for three days.  However, our Savior recognized Jonah as an actual historical figure, so that’s good enough for me.  If Jesus confirmed the story, it has to be true!

Prior to His crucifixion, Jesus told His disciples, “Just as Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days and nights, so will the Son of Man be three days and nights in the heart of the earth” (Matthew 12:40).   

Entire volumes have been written about the book of Jonah but generally speaking, it tells the story of an evangelist, who because of personal biases and attitudes, decided to run from his God-given assignment.  However, the deeper issues in this story are often overlooked for more surface discussions. 

I love preaching that confronts root issues. The intrigue of the book often skims the real meaning; and in typical Old Testament fashion cries out for the reader to explore the “story behind the story.”  One preacher dubbed this account, “The Gospel According to Jonah.”  Allow me to summarize the four chapters of Jonah by using the following recap:   

Chapter one  -- In a Fix

Chapter two – In a Fish

Chapter three – In a Revival

Chapter four – In a Rage

In a Fix

Chapter one sets the stage for the entire drama.  Jonah received his marching orders but refused to comply.  “Go to Nineveh,” the Lord said.  Instead Jonah boarded a vessel headed for Tarshish, located in what is now Spain.  But because the Lord is more concerned about WHO we are than WHAT we do, He caused a severe storm, which threatened the lives of the entire crew; and Jonah, per his request, was cast into the sea.  God had prearranged a whale to temporarily house the wayward preacher!

In a Fish

Chapter two describes incidents inside the whale’s belly, and records the only prayer meeting of its kind in history.  Jonah is taken deep below the surface, where seaweed (and whatever else) surrounded him.  You talk about cramped quarters! He did what you and I would do – he prayed.  You think! “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you Lord…” (verse 7).

While in the depths of the sea, Jonah experienced an attitude change.  He said, “I, with a song of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you.  What I have vowed I will make good.  Salvation comes from the Lord” (verse 9). The Lord had his full attention but still, root issues inside him became exposed in chapter 4. First, let’s summarize chapter 3.

In a Revival

In this chapter Jonah fulfills his mission.  He goes to Nineveh, a city of about 120,000 people who needed to repent for their military atrocities. The Ninevites were a warrior people, who had a reputation for plunder and violence.  Jonah’s message was direct:  “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned” (verse 4). Then something both phenomenal and of course, supernatural happened!  Conviction seized the masses – including the king – and they repented immediately.  The king issued a decree (verses 7-10):  “Let everyone call urgently on God.  Let them give up their evil ways and their violence.  Who knows?  God may relent and with compassion turn from His fierce anger…” 

What a great revival!  A crowd the size of many of Billy Graham’s crusade audiences totally repented.  Any preacher today would give his left arm for such preaching results!  Ashtabula County boasts a population of 98,632 (as of 2015), so that puts Jonah’s results into a cool perspective.

In a Rage

Then we read chapter four.  The preacher shows his real motivation.  Ironically, it made him mad when the entire city repented of their evil ways.  Yes, you read this right.  He got angry!  He pouted outside the city.  In the heat of the day, God used a fast-growing vine to temporarily shade the contorted evangelist.  Subsequently, God sent a worm to destroy the vine and expose the preacher’s heart.  What an incredible object lesson!

Jonah secretly hated the Ninevites and was surprised when they responded positively to his message.  His deeper issue was called into question.  God asked Jonah, “Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?”  Jonah replied, “I do.  I am angry enough to die” (verse 9).

And like usual, God had the final word:  “Jonah, you have been more concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow...But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well.  Should I not be concerned about that great city” (verse 10)?

Root issues in the book of Jonah beckon us to search our heart and ask the hard questions:

1.  What motivations drive our actions?

2.  Do we love people like we truly should?

3.  Are we happy when others, perhaps totally different from us, experience the blessings of God?

4.  Do we secretly hold anger and hard feelings toward people God has called us to serve?

5.  And many more…

The “Gospel According to Jonah” bids us to search our hearts and make sure our motivations line up with the heart of God!   

Leaky Eyes

Our emotions are a wonderful gift from God.  We cry during sad movies.  We cry when someone we love dies.  We cry when God’s wonderful presence comes during times of intense worship and prayer times.  Some of us cry when we’re happy! 

For sure, crying has therapeutic value.  God gave us tear ducts to serve as a release valves.  When the pressures of life mount, we let off stress through tears.  One day I asked my then two-year-old granddaughter Madison why she was crying.  She responded, “Papa, my eyes are leaking!”

In my dealings with people over 41 years of ministry I discovered that some cry because they have unresolved anger issues in their life.  Frankly, I’m suspect when someone can’t talk without bursting into tears.  This may suggest that unresolved anger finds surface expression through crocodile tears!  In other words, he or she masks their real issues with tears. We must understand that crying is designed to free us, not to justify ongoing negative behavior. Let me explain by talking about a “crier” whose story is partially told in the book of Genesis 27:30-40.  He cried crocodile tears – insincere and anger-filled. 

It is the story of Jacob, who deceived his brother Esau by tricking his blind father and stealing the family blessing that was rightfully Esau’s.  While we might understand Esau’s anger, we see where any tears he shed were misdirected.  Esau was a hothead who cried, not because he was sorry for his behavior, but because he had murder in his heart.  His tears were produced by unresolved anger that went unchecked.  He was not honest with himself!

Hebrews 12:17 gives additional insight into Esau’s character:  “For you knew that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears.”  Believe me.  His tears were anger induced.  He was emotionally and spiritually undeveloped.  He did not cry because he was repentant.  He cried because he wanted to kill his deceitful brother! 

Rejection – real or perceived – leads to anger.  Healing does not come through crying alone.  It comes through release and by offering forgiveness.  Legitimate crying often accompanies release.  What kinds of things do we release through tears?  Here are just a few:  Sin, forgiveness, bitterness, hurts, anger, offenses, wounds of the past, pressures of every day life, and of course, rejection.

Many times the validity of a person’s salvation experience is gauged by how much he cries.  However, I’ve seen criers repeat the “Sinner’s Prayer” and then walk out the church doors never to return.  On the other hand, I’ve seen very contemplative people who showed little or no emotion, go on to become stalwart Christians. 

Both 1 John 1:9 and Romans 10:9-10 say, “If we confess…”  They don’t say, “If we cry…”  To confess means to agree with what God says in His Word.  Crying that follows Biblical confession more than likely results in changed behavior. 

As a child I used to cry when I knew I was in trouble.  I cried, hoping to lessen my punishment.  It seldom worked!  The proof lies, not in how much we cry, but in how much we release to God.  A lot of crying people leave church altars still full of anger.  I’m thankful for a salvation that touches my emotions, but I’m more thankful for a salvation that goes deep to pull out hidden sins – including unresolved anger like Jacob exhibited. 

Remember, God gave us emotions to serve us, not to master us or serve as a smokescreen to the real issues at hand.  Healthy crying produces healthy results, and never produces “cry babies.”