Are You a Project?

Many years ago, at my invitation, I had breakfast with another pastor.  Instead of pouring into him and enjoying his company, I used the time to whine about a church problem.  The man abruptly interrupted me mid-sentence and said, “I didn’t come here to listen to your problems. Frankly, I don’t want to hear about them.”  Then, he got up and left.  

Admittedly, I was embarrassed and my feelings were hurt.  Anger quickly followed. “Who does he think he is?” I thought.  “What an arrogant, uncaring pastor.”

Was the man rude?  Yes. Did his approach leave something to be desired?  Absolutely! But out of that emotionally painful experience the Lord showed me that I had become a “project.”  I was all too willing to tell anyone who would listen about my woes. I was not enjoyable to be around because I allowed my personal hurts to define me.  I wasn’t interested in changing my outlook or moving past my pain. In this particular case, I was seeking the wrong kind of attention, unwilling to learn from his response, no matter how unkind.  

Nobody needs a “project.”  Why? Because nothing ever changes with some people. They get stuck.  They spin their wheels in the deep ruts of their past. They seek out those willing to validate their pain.  “Projects” become broken records that fixate on the same things. They never change, nor do they want to. They are the same today as they were three years ago!  Pain and on-going drama become their “normal.”

What do “project people” look like?  What are their characteristics?

1. They are totally self-centered.  Everything is about their pain.
2. They seldom, if ever, ask about others.
3. They tell the same stories over and over, refusing to walk in forgiveness.
4. They usually become social misfits, unable to make or keep friends.
5. They leave a trail of broken relationships behind them, often including family members.
6. They become unattached to the needs of others and easily angered when others try to redirect them.  
7. They despise healthy social boundaries.
8.  They become unteachable.
9.  Finally, they spend their lives playing the victim.

How do we address “project people?”  Sadly, many times these individuals cannot be helped until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.

“Projects” gravitate toward sympathetic listening ears.  Once...twice...three times, maybe; then an on-going “project” has to be lovingly confronted.  Often, “projects” move toward flight instead of being willing to honestly confront their deeper issues.

We are followers of Christ, who of course, should love everyone.  Sometimes, however, tough love is needed to effect life change. Until  “projects” are willing to make the necessary adjustments in their thinking patterns and actions, they remain time wasters.  

Remember, everyone is precious to God and possesses divinely given potential.  Some, however, refuse to improve the quality of their present, by allowing their past to enslave them.   

Do you know someone you view as a “project?”  Refuse to live in guilt when you have to call them to task. At times we offer the wrong kind of help that only perpetuates already negatively-established patterns. We are called upon to teach “project people” how to plant wheat instead of always giving them bread. 

Open, honest, and loving confrontation may drive them away temporarily, but in the long run, our prayer is that these “projects” seek life change that rebuilds their credibility and integrity.

Sudden Change

In the past 24 hours we have gone from having three inches of snow to my wife mowing the yard.  Only in northeastern Ohio! Right?

Life can change on a dime.  This sudden transformation reminded me to not take this COVID-19 quarantine for granted.  For sure, nothing’s the same as before. Who would have guessed that 2020 would require all of  us to navigate these difficult waters? Everyday is a faith adventure.

I’m determined not to squander this uncertain time in my life.  Am I completely comfortable with what’s happening? Of course not!  And I’m sure I speak for you as well. But one thing I know: God is asking me to inventory my life.  Let me explain.

1. What have I previously taken for granted?   Lori and I are watching the Netflix series, “When Calls the Heart.”  Frankly, I find it a bit unrealistic at times, but the fact remains that love between husbands and wives and people in general is life’s greatest treasure.  Each episode moves me to an emotional edge. I recommend it for your “virus viewing!”

While watching, I occasionally sneak a glance at my wife of almost 43 years, and my heart is gladdened by her presence in my life.  After the Lord, she is the one constant in my life, who loves me unconditionally and completely. I never want to take her for granted!  What loved one(s) do you need to reaffirm today?

2. Perhaps like you, I have issues in my life that need to be placed under the Lordship of Christ. Not necessarily sin issues, but things that, if confronted and subdued, will enhance my daily living.  For example, I need to watch my food intake. The refrigerator beckons me to open and see! Also, what important tasks have I put off for a better day? In what areas have I procrastinated? Finally, am I “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5)?  How? By minding my mind! Making sure that unhealthy, negative, impure, and unnecessary thoughts do not crowd out those things that are “true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and of good repute…” (Philippians 4:8).    

3. During the long hours of quarantine, am I praying more, reading the Scriptures more fervently and waiting for the Lord’s “still small voice” to speak to me?  He promises me “an audience of one!”

4. Am I using this time to speak into the lives of those I love, without becoming annoying?  Understanding the need to maintain personal space, I text, email, write cards, make calls, and send Facebook and YouTube inspirational messages. Let me encourage you to find communication expressions that work for you, and then make someone’s day!

None of us knows what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow.  And as life continues to usher in unexpected, at times, harsh changes, we hold to the Lord’s unchanging hand.  He will walk us safely to the other side of uncertainty!

  

Does Prayer Work?

The original band of disciples one day said to the Lord, “Teach us how to pray” (Luke 11:1).  Jesus subsequently taught a prayer outline of sorts that we refer to as “The Lord’s Prayer.” Our Catholic friends refer to it as “The Our Father.”  A breakdown of this prayer -- verse by verse -- reveals many different aspects of God’s character and how we as believers can tap into heaven’s resources.

If these disciples needed to learn how to pray, we too need to learn.  Although the best prayers come from the heart, we still need to pray according to God’s Word and His will.  

My friend, prayer is much more than a command or even a suggestion; it is a privilege to pray.  When we mix our faith with prayer based on God’s Word, heaven responds! When our faith declarations line up with the Word and come into agreement with what God has already promised, we stand on solid ground.  

Do you need peace?  Then let “the peace of God that passes all understanding, guard your heart and mind” (Philippians 4:7).

Do you need healing”   Then declare today -- this moment -- that “He is the Lord who heals” (Exodus 15:26).

Do you need provision?  Then pray, “My God shall provide all of my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

We are asked to pray, not because God isn’t aware of our situation.  We are asked to combine our faith with heaven’s intentions. When we pray, we invite heaven to come to earth.  “Let your kingdom come, and let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). We invite heaven to kiss the earth!  During this Coronavirus pandemic, we are asking the Lord to allow what’s in heaven to fill the earth. Heaven has no sickness, so we are asking the Lord to touch down on the earth with healing and to destroy the virus. 

I need not beg the Lord when I pray.  After all, He knows what I “have need of before I pray” (Matthew 6:8).  We pray because we understand that our faith pleases God. Prayer keeps us dependent on the Lord!  Selfishness dies in the midst of concerted prayer. It’s His kingdom, not ours!

Keep praying and keep believing!

Missing My Church Family

Now that we’ve been quarantined from church, unable to attend services, I feel a deeper love for Hope Community.  How I miss gathering with those 50-plus families I hold dear. I miss the “togetherness,” the praise and worship, the preached Word and the family atmosphere.  The energy and anticipation of corporate worship has enhanced my life beyond description. And I’m past ready to return!

What am I thinking about during this time?

1. I need my church family.  None of us were created to do life alone.  I need their funny stories, their prayers, even news of their struggles.  Their hugs, handshakes and smiles make life rewarding. I feel sad for those who build cases against any local church.  They don’t realize what they’re missing!  

2. I now realize that what I thought was so important is so trivial in the overall scheme of corporate worship.  Who cares what people wear?  What difference does it make which songs we choose?  So, what if the mics are not set right or the sound system is too loud for my taste.  What about less than good sermons? Nobody knocks it out of the park all the time! It’s not about me!  Why allow individual idiosyncrasies to bother me? I bring my own to the mix. Critical, unkind and unnecessary comments need not disturb me.  I have no brain space for such tomfoolery. That’s not why I go in the first place!

3. I miss being able to serve and encourage others.  We at Hope Community emphasize servant leadership over titles and positions.  We don’t own the church, we serve it with the gifts God has placed inside us. 

4. I’m using this time to text, email, write cards, send letters, use Facebook Live, You Tube or make calls to individuals as the Lord directs me.  Prayer is a wonderful tool God has given me to bless others and to invite “the kingdom of God to come to earth.”

5. I’m counting down the days to when I’m able to look into the faces of the crowd and grin from ear to ear.  I’m going to smile big, hug a lot, laugh loudly, even cry when the “family” is finally able to gather together again.  I can’t wait for “offering time”!

Hopefully, my perspective will have changed.  I will appreciate the essentials and vow to minimize the non-essentials, or personal preferences.  Just being together again will be enough.

Hope Community, I’m not sure when our doors will re-open for corporate worship, but this I know: I need -- no, I long for -- the love and support my church family provides for both now and eternity.  

In the meantime, keep the faith!  Love you all.