Mother / Father Wounds

“Raise your children in such a way they won’t need to spend their adult years getting over it!”  This comment may cause some to chuckle, but it sobers me.

 

I meet a lot of people during the course of my days.  Lately for some reason, I have met several men and women who during their childhood were abused by their parents. 

Our formative years literally shape the rest of our lives – good and bad.  Who we are, how we feel about ourselves, how we view life in general, how we get along with others, how we raise our children, how we view God, our personal hygiene and grooming and much more are determined by how we were treated in our family of origin.  And sadly, generational abuse issues (curses) tend to perpetuate themselves.  Some people never get over their childhood. 

I was taught that individuals who are mentally, sexually or physically abused during their early years tend to stop developing emotionally at the point of their abuse.  In other words, we meet individuals in adult bodies who think, act and respond like children.  They go through life often unaware of their plight. Blaming others for their troubles becomes “normal.”

Self-esteem issues manifest in any number of ways.  Self-hate, anger, morbid obesity, social awkwardness, constant drama, shattered dreams, addictions of all kinds, divorce, sexual identification struggles, and all types of family dysfunction can result from childhood abuse. Victims of abuse often leave a trail of broken relationships behind them as they navigate life. The stories are disheartening.

Following are quotes from conversations I had this past week:

“My mother hated me.  She resented giving birth to me and gave me to my aunt right after I was born.”

“My father hated me because I was not a boy, and he told me every day of my life.  He also beat me regularly.”

“My mom made me stay in the cold barn after school until it was bedtime. She said I did not deserve living in the warm house.  Often I went to bed hungry.”

“My parents both told me I was an embarrassment to them and that I would never amount to anything.”

So sad!

It becomes my privilege to tell broken people that Jesus loves them unconditionally and that He wants to heal their souls – those broken place – and set them on a healthy course.  Jesus is the only One who can truly mend broken lives.  The Holy Spirit reveals the areas of our brokenness, exposes the lies we were told and give us righteous interpretations for our pain.  He is the heart mender!

What lies put inside you by either parent have you believed about yourself.  Have they become “your truth?”  If so, know that God wants to heal you of those things said and done in your past that have caused you so much harm.  Forgive your parents and move on.  Don’t let your past determine your future.  Mother and father wounds can be broken out of our lives as we forgive and ask the Holy Spirit to show us His truth. 

One of Satan’s most horrible weapons is child abuse – all kinds.  He knows that if a child is wounded, he or she will most likely spend their life trying to recuperate from early traumas.  And he also knows that such abuse usually perpetuates itself.  Childhood abuse has stolen and thwarted godly destinies for countless numbers of people.  But God can reverse the pain of our past!

What pain from your formative years are you holding on to?  Let me encourage (beg) you to release it by forgiving your perpetrator and asking God to give you a new lease on life.  He will, you know!  Your pain does not have to be your life-long companion.  Break free from your past today.  In Jesus’ Name!