Body Language

Did you know that we often talk without opening our mouth?  We call this body language.  Please take a moment to answer the following questions.

What does it mean:

1.  When people roll their eyes?

2.  When people do not make eye contact or move their eyes around the room when you’re talking to them?

3.  When people stand around with their arms folded?

4.  When people stand at a distance refusing to say anything?

5.  When people walk into a room and say nothing as they make their way through the crowd?

6.  When people remain awkwardly silent?

You well know the answers.  Body language can hold us back from connecting with others.  It’s easy to read but can be wrongly interpreted.  I’m not talking about being shy; I’m referring to poor people skills.  Throw in uninviting or even poker-faced looks and matters only worsen.  

We need to understand the power of body language.  Dr. Richard Dobbins called it the “invisible imprint,” or the vibe we get or give away when others come around us.  People exude both negative and positive vibes.  How do they feel when you enter a room? 

Do you struggle with relationships?  Is it tough for you to make new friends?  Do people avoid you?  While in a crowd, do you find it difficult to mix with others?  If so, you may need to take an honest look at the vibe or feeling you bring into a given setting.  It may be holding you back from enjoying healthy personal interactions.  

Be honest with the guy you see in the mirror!  Ask yourself, “How do I make people feel when I’m with them?  Your open, honest answer to this question could mean the difference between having friends or spending your life secluded and lonely.   

Pre-In-Post

Jesus has always existed.  He is God.  He did not make His debut in Bethlehem.  He has always been.  He was not created; He is the Creator!  “For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things have been created through Him and for Him” (Colossians 1:16).  “All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being” (John 1:3).

Before I continue, let me define the word “incarnate.”  It simply means “in the flesh.”  Bethlehem’s Baby was God incarnate.

But note, Jesus was also the pre-incarnate Son of God Who made several appearances on earth BEFORE Bethlehem.  Let me recall a popular example.  Do you remember Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, the three Hebrew men who refused to kneel before King Nebuchadnezzar’s Babylonian idol?  The story is found in Daniel 3. 

These three Jews refused to bow down to a false god, and the king became outraged and commanded them to be thrown into a fiery furnace. “Then Nebuchadnezzar was filled with wrath…he commanded certain valiant warriors who were in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in order to cast them into the furnace of blazing fire” (3:19a-20).

Then something or Someone wonderful happened! “Nebuchadnezzar the king was astounded and stood up in haste; he said to his high officials, ‘Was it not three men we cast bound into the midst of the fire?’  They replied to the king, ‘Certainly, O king.’  He said, ‘Look!  I see four men loosed and walking about in the midst of the fire without harm, and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods!’” (verses 24-25).

The book of Daniel was written 600 years before Jesus was born as a babe in Bethlehem.  The story of the three Hebrew children features the pre-incarnate Christ, when Jesus made one of several appearances on the earth. Jesus showed up in Nebuchadnezzar’s incinerator to protect Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. 

This story is probably the most renown regarding the pre-incarnate Christ.  Usually in the Old Testament, the description, “Angel of the Lord” also refers to Jesus. Actually, Gideon, one of Israel’s judges, met Him (pre-incarnate Jesus) face to face.  His story is recorded in Judges 6-8.

So, we understand that Jesus made pre-incarnate appearances and subsequently the incarnate Christ was born of Mary in approximately 29 B.C.  In just a few days, our attention will again focus on the Christmas story, the incarnation, when the cries of the God-Man could be heard in a Bethlehem manger.  “But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman…” (Galatians 4:4).  Birthday celebrations will honor Bethlehem’s Baby, but our worship will be directed toward the glorified, risen Christ!

Okay, we’ve discussed two terms:  pre-incarnate and incarnate.  Now, let’s move on to “post-incarnate.”  By post-incarnate, we mean those times when Jesus periodically reveals Himself on earth, either in the form of visions, dreams or even theophanies, which are visible manifestations of God in human form.

Does Jesus make appearances on the earth today? I believe He does.  I understand this discussion requires a subjective viewpoint; however, if He came pre-incarnate, then incarnate, why would He not appear in a post-incarnate fashion?  Just asking!

At any rate, we hear stories of many Muslims in the Middle East coming to Christ after He appears to them in dreams and visions.  The stories are both fascinating and emotionally charged.

My dad, who for the most part hardened his heart toward the Gospel all of his life, experienced a post-incarnate visitation of Jesus just two days before he passed away.  Lori and I were visiting him at the VA Medical Center in Erie, Pennsylvania.  Dad said, “Rog, guess who visited me last night?”  I of course thought he was referring to one of my siblings.

However, after family roll call dad said, “No, Jesus did.”  Ironically, I asked, “Jesus who?” 

He then told us something that shook us to our core: “Jesus came to me last night.  He stood over in that corner.”  I said, “How did you know it was Jesus?”  To which he answered, “Because He had nail prints right here” (pointing to his wrists).  We were flabbergasted, but overjoyed!

My dad was entirely convinced that it was Jesus in his hospital room, and he came to faith in the nail-scarred Savior!  He was a changed man!  Was it the post-incarnate Jesus?  Dad thought so, and I do too!  It matters not whether it was a dream or a vision.  It worked!  Two days later dad met his night visitor face to face!

I thank God for the pre-incarnate Jesus.  I marvel over His incarnation, which we soon will celebrate joyously.  And I have no problem believing that the risen Christ still shows up on the earth to bring His Kingdom into hard-hearted hearts.  He “the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, Who is and Who was, and Who is to come, the Almighty” (Revelation 1:8).    

I hope you have a wonderful, Merry Christmas.  May the Christ of Christmas –the God-Man, the incarnate God – have entrance into your heart like never before.

Mother / Father Wounds

“Raise your children in such a way they won’t need to spend their adult years getting over it!”  This comment may cause some to chuckle, but it sobers me.

 

I meet a lot of people during the course of my days.  Lately for some reason, I have met several men and women who during their childhood were abused by their parents. 

Our formative years literally shape the rest of our lives – good and bad.  Who we are, how we feel about ourselves, how we view life in general, how we get along with others, how we raise our children, how we view God, our personal hygiene and grooming and much more are determined by how we were treated in our family of origin.  And sadly, generational abuse issues (curses) tend to perpetuate themselves.  Some people never get over their childhood. 

I was taught that individuals who are mentally, sexually or physically abused during their early years tend to stop developing emotionally at the point of their abuse.  In other words, we meet individuals in adult bodies who think, act and respond like children.  They go through life often unaware of their plight. Blaming others for their troubles becomes “normal.”

Self-esteem issues manifest in any number of ways.  Self-hate, anger, morbid obesity, social awkwardness, constant drama, shattered dreams, addictions of all kinds, divorce, sexual identification struggles, and all types of family dysfunction can result from childhood abuse. Victims of abuse often leave a trail of broken relationships behind them as they navigate life. The stories are disheartening.

Following are quotes from conversations I had this past week:

“My mother hated me.  She resented giving birth to me and gave me to my aunt right after I was born.”

“My father hated me because I was not a boy, and he told me every day of my life.  He also beat me regularly.”

“My mom made me stay in the cold barn after school until it was bedtime. She said I did not deserve living in the warm house.  Often I went to bed hungry.”

“My parents both told me I was an embarrassment to them and that I would never amount to anything.”

So sad!

It becomes my privilege to tell broken people that Jesus loves them unconditionally and that He wants to heal their souls – those broken place – and set them on a healthy course.  Jesus is the only One who can truly mend broken lives.  The Holy Spirit reveals the areas of our brokenness, exposes the lies we were told and give us righteous interpretations for our pain.  He is the heart mender!

What lies put inside you by either parent have you believed about yourself.  Have they become “your truth?”  If so, know that God wants to heal you of those things said and done in your past that have caused you so much harm.  Forgive your parents and move on.  Don’t let your past determine your future.  Mother and father wounds can be broken out of our lives as we forgive and ask the Holy Spirit to show us His truth. 

One of Satan’s most horrible weapons is child abuse – all kinds.  He knows that if a child is wounded, he or she will most likely spend their life trying to recuperate from early traumas.  And he also knows that such abuse usually perpetuates itself.  Childhood abuse has stolen and thwarted godly destinies for countless numbers of people.  But God can reverse the pain of our past!

What pain from your formative years are you holding on to?  Let me encourage (beg) you to release it by forgiving your perpetrator and asking God to give you a new lease on life.  He will, you know!  Your pain does not have to be your life-long companion.  Break free from your past today.  In Jesus’ Name!