There's Nothing Like Family!

Family.  There’s nothing like it!  During our time on earth God places us within a family unit to love, nurture, and provide for our basic needs.  None of us are given a choice as to what family we’re placed.  As for me, I’m the middle of seven children and my parents were a hard-working and devoted couple.  My family of origin was made complete by many aunts and uncles on both sides, who also took an interest in our large brood!  And to be sure, family dynamics – good and bad –have impacted all of us throughout our lives. 

Our family unit met with tragedy when the unthinkable happened.  Mom was taken from us while all teenagers and dad floundered to hold us together.  He did the best he could, given the time, resources and energies he possessed; but frankly, when dad lost the love of his life, he was never the same.  Our family was shaken to its very core. 

Returning to Jefferson to plant a church after 40 years away has demonstrated not only the beauty of family but I’ve seen first-hand how family brokenness, along with the decline of family values has negatively impacted our culture in every way.  And I’ve been made to realize that “as goes the family, so goes the church!”  The enemy of our soul is out to destroy the family unit.  We poignantly see his handiwork in the local church.

The local church too is a family!  Or should be.  In ministry I deal with family issues that many times affect the forward movement of our church, and I’m sure all churches.  Sadly, many people whose family of origin was less than healthy do not know how to function in a local body of believers because they come from a background of serious dysfunctional behavior.  People are broken!  Individuals who are raised in less than desirable situations, and who are not taught healthy, biblical values, bring their pain into the church.  To make matters worse, we many times place these individuals in leadership – a ready-made formula for disaster!

I’m discovering that while many come to faith in Christ, they struggle to understand that their new faith requires that they learn how to function properly within their new family environment.  Continued pain happens when believers refuse to “re-learn how to live!”  Most of us have to start over again when it comes to understanding healthy family boundaries.

I often feel more like a parent than a pastor.  Perhaps they’re the same.  When I read Paul’s letters to his beloved church at Thessalonica, I’m made to realize that he saw himself as a “mother-father” figure to a group of struggling saints who did not know how to function in a healthy family.  Paul had to bring grass root level teachings to them because upon conversion they desperately needed “Family 101” instruction.  Consider these verses:

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 – “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nurturing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you we were well pleased to impart to you, not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.”

1 Thessalonians 2:9-12 – “For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day, so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God…imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”

In these verses Paul shows us how to “raise the babies.”  In the church we need loving mothers and concerned fathers.  It’s no wonder the church at Thessalonica prospered in spite of persecution.  They had been born right into a family of healthy origin (chapter 1) and nurtured right (chapter 2).  They were taught how to properly function within a church family.  And because they were spiritually healthy, they shared the Gospel with others for miles around.  And the church grew because they understood healthy family boundaries; and of course, invited the power of the Holy Spirit into their lives.

Everyone brings his/her understanding of what family looks like into the local church.  That’s why church leaders have to not only be healthy themselves, but they like Paul, need to insist on growing and teaching new converts how to function properly in their “new family” of God.   Remember what I previously stated: “As goes the family, so goes the local church!”

One of the greatest miracles I see is a healthy, growing church that understands the beauty of “family” values and functions in a way that adds meaning, love and fulfillment to communities that are full of broken families.  There’s nothing quite like the wonders of a healthy church family.  We at Hope Community are striving to build a family of believers where peace, safety and love abound.  Come join the family and let’s learn together!