Single or Single Again?

Are you single?

Are you single again?

Then this blog post is for you!

Many times (most of the time) individuals who fit within one or both categories above feel like fifth wheels in the church.  They seem to have no place among married couples and even families in general.  It’s not that they’re unwelcome, but what they share in common is next to nothing!

Singles often feel left out and at best awkward in social settings.  Our culture inadvertently stigmatizes them.  Some churches try to address the needs of singles by forming singles groups.  Who are we kidding?  These groups can and do become places where singles meet rejection when dating opportunities are elevated above supposed fellowship.  

I feel sorry for them, and I think I have a solution.

Whether you’ve never been married, or you’ve been married and divorced, or you’re widowed, God has an on-going plan for your life.  Understand this:  It is absolutely true that you have little or nothing in common with marrieds or those in dating relationships.  Absolutely nothing!  However, instead of seeing yourself as the “odd man out” or a fifth wheel, see yourself in a different, new way.

Realize that a new season has come into your life and ready or not, changes are required.  Don’t fight it, ride with it!

Look for new opportunities to pass the time and to bring fulfillment back into your life.

The biggest lie that often attempts to weave its way into the fabric of your life is that you no longer have significance – you have nothing to offer.  Paul writes to Titus and in 2:1-10 outlines several ways that single women (especially) can use their experience to teach other age groups valuable life principles.  Bible teachers often refer to these single individuals as “Titus Women.”  This passage can also pertain to single men in the right contexts.

Paul writes, “You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

“Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.  In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

“Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive” (verses 1-10).

Then in verse 15 he says, “These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.”

Are you single or single again? After reading the above passage, ask your pastor how you can practically apply Paul’s words to your current life situation.  Those unschooled and less seasoned in their faith need your wisdom and insights.

Your life can still remain fruitful and productive as you teach others and demonstrate godly principles to them.  Your new season holds exciting days but will probably mandate a shift in priorities.   Remember, you’re not washed up; you’re just changing cycles!

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