Christians and Divorce

Divorce among Christians runs parallel to those outside the faith realm. I am saddened by this reality.  We believe that Jesus Christ makes a difference in the lives of those who trust Him as Savior. Divorce between unbelieving mates is also sad, but at least we can understand how un-regenerated hearts make such decisions.  It is most disconcerting, however, when two professed believers opt for divorce.

The reason that immediately comes to mind involves the hardening of hearts – when couples refuse to forgive one another and ultimately choose divorce.  One or both hardens his heart much the same way that Pharaoh hardened his heart toward the Israelites regarding their exodus from Egypt.  

Proverbs 28:14 warns, "He who hardens his heart falls into trouble."  Unfortunately, the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible translates Pharaoh's actions this way:  "And God hardened Pharaoh's heart..." The truth is that Pharaoh allowed circumstances to harden his heart.  He made a conscious choice not to heed Moses and Aaron's repeated warnings. Judas Iscariot also chose to harden his heart against the Master.  We too are given choices!  We can either submit to God's Word or we can reject it.  The preached Word hardens or softens men's heart, depending on their choice.  And the more we reject the Word, the more heart-hardened we become.

Jesus touched on this principle in Matthew 19:7-8. "'Why then, they [Pharisees] asked, 'Did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?'  Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning.'"

In His parable of the sower in Matthew 13, Jesus talks about the different types of ground (hearts) that the seed of God's Word falls on.  Husbands and wives, when in the throes of relational difficulties have a choice.  They choose their own soil condition--hard, rocky, shallow, thorn-infested, or good soil.  Hardened soil does not allow the Word to be sown in our hearts.  "The devil comes along and snatches away what was sown" (verse 19).  Rocky conditions may even receive the Word with joy.  "But since (the individual) has no root, he lasts only a short time.  When trouble comes...because of the Word, he quickly falls away"(verse 20).

Years ago I heard this quote: “Marriage is the union of two forgivers.”  This is so true! Life has a way of bringing offenses into all relationships, but none more impacting than our marriages.  Satan loves to destroy Christian marriages.  That's why we need to walk in forgiveness.  Jesus' "seventy times seven" principle must be put into action from the very beginning of all marriages.  He's not relating a mathematical formula as much as He's saying to forgive one another as often as it is necessary.  

Don't let offenses "get on you."  Relinquish your hurts and pain through the power of forgiveness!  I'm convinced that through Christ all things are possible.  Even the worst of scenarios--unfaithful partners, adultery, etc.--can be forgiven.  Christ in us enables us to be "more than conquerors."

I'm not saying these times are easy, but do we really believe what we preach?  I know there are many times extenuating circumstances, but for the most part, God's people have Someone living inside them Who is able to walk them through the darkest of days into the light of God's mercy and forgiveness. And I completely understand that if one partner adamantly refuses to make it work, then break-up is often inevitable.  I get it. By the way, each circumstance has to be considered on its own merits. Blanket statements only bring confusion and further pain.

Divorce remains a "hot potato" in the church world.  Still, I believe Christian couples should take advantage of every means available to save their troubled marriages.  What a testimony it is for the Lord when struggling couples stand up and give testimony to God's righteous intervention in their homes!  I believe that serving the Lord SHOULD and DOES make a difference in our marriages and homes.

It's time that God's people rise up and say, "ENOUGH!"  In a day when Christian marriages are failing percentage-wise with those of unbelievers, we need to prove to the world that serving Jesus DOES make a difference.  His power is mighty to save, heal and deliver!

A Contradiction? (Part 3)

Parts 1 and 2 of this blog launched from the story of my friend losing his job and ultimately his home, all the while tithing to God.  Let’s continue this discussion.

Sometimes the promises of God do seem to contradict our way of thinking.  For example, what about those heroes of the faith in Hebrews 11, who walked in faith and yet did not realize the outcome of promises received?  God's promises are unfailing, but His timing is often called into question by we, who hold on indefinitely without seeing the results of promises given.  God sees the larger picture, so we are called upon to place our total trust and faith in His all-sustaining grace.

May I share a personal struggle I had when a promise in the Scriptures seemed to contradict reality?  Psalm 91:11 says, "For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways."  However, in March 1995 my in-laws (pastors) were traveling in a foggy rain to visit a man in an Indianapolis hospital.  Just outside of Frankfort, another preacher ran a stop sign, resulting in the instant death of my father-in-law and five weeks later my mother-in-law.  That accident ushered in some of the most trying days of my life.

What happened seemed to directly contradict the promise of Psalm 91:11.  No, I did not get bitter, but I certainly questioned the Lord as to His ways.  Is the Bible true?  Yes indeed! However, God's ways are above ours; His thoughts are higher than ours.  He's sovereign (all-powerful) and we're not.  He makes decisions based out of His sovereignty.  To us, these times may seem to contradict His Word.  Times of inexplicable loss have always plagued the hearts of men.  Ask Job!

My friend lost his good job and now his home.  I don't know the reasons why, and I would not begin to wax eloquently or even to defend what may appear to be God's indifference. What I do know, however, is that because he has been faithful with his tithes and offerings, God is obligated to fulfill His Word in his life.  What appears to be so unfair and contradictory in the scheme of life and God's promises, I believe, will "produce for [you] an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).  Remember In the end, God blessed Job with what he lost and more!

This is not "preacher talk," but if we obsess over the inequities and all the unfair things that happen to us in this life, we could very well jeopardize our faith and become cynical, even bitter.  I encouraged my friend to look ahead and believe that God has placed a "replacement clause" in his life.  Job came out on top and he will, too!  

Are you facing financial loss or difficulties?  Keep tithing.  Keep giving offerings as He directs.  And know that in the future you have every right to make heavenly withdrawals because you have made earthly deposits.  I believe God will turn your circumstances around for your good and His glory.

A Contradiction? (Part 2)

If you missed Part 1 of this blog, please go back and read it as a background for my continuing response to the issue of tithing versus financial losses we sometimes incur.

I believe we should give generously and cheerfully.  I believe we should give not because we have to, but because we love Christ!  Attitude when we give is always more important than the amount we give.  Obedience always follows love!  Simply stated, I believe that God honors giving.  He gives us resources to use and invest for Him.  Paul uses the illustration of seeds to explain that the resources God gives us are not to be hidden, foolishly devoured or thrown away, but cultivated in order to produce more crops.  When we invest what God has given us in His work, He will provide us with even more to give.  We all understand that we won't reap if we don't sow.  If we plow and don't plant, we won't reap!

However, along with finances, Paul emphasizes spiritual rewards for those who give generously to God's work.  We should not expect to become wealthy through giving.  Those who receive our gifts will be helped, will praise God, and will pray for us.  As we bless others, we are blessed!

Now, back to the foreclosure and unemployment.  How do we incorporate these realities into the before-mentioned verses of Scripture?  I believe that giving to God does place a protective bond around our lives.  However, we live in a world where inequities abound. Many things that happen to us in life are unfair.  The important thing, and I believe the overriding principle for believers to remember, is that giving to God assures that we will not be "devoured."

People of all ages, races and descriptions suffer loss of properties and things every day.  But God still causes them to triumph!  Obviously, losing a house or a job is a very heart-rending, difficult thing.  However, there are worse things that can happen to a believer.  During times of loss, I believe we have to look to God for a deeper interpretation of the facts, and for His grace, which sustains us even in the darkest of times.  

If we compare our plight to other believers, we may very well become discouraged and bitter.  Asking "why" during times of loss is perfectly okay; however, dwelling on the apparent inequity may cause us to stumble in our faith.  I believe in the sovereignty of God, which says to me, that no matter what may happen in my life, Jesus is still Lord and He will provide a way of escape.

A Contradiction? (Part 1)

Not long ago, a man said to me, “We have consistently paid our tithes and given considerably large offerings over the years.  Yet, we recently lost our home to foreclosure, because I lost my job.  Can you help me understand this apparent contradiction in what we were taught regarding giving to God?

I began by saying, “First, let me say how sorry I am you're going through this time of loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. I will pray for you.”   Given this scenario, let’s turn our attention toward the purpose of giving tithes and offerings:  Tithing reminds us that everything we have belongs to God, and keeps our affections turned toward eternal, not earthly things.  We simply steward what God gives us!

Material losses appear to defy God's promise in Malachi 3:8-11 regarding the tithe; however, before we become too cynical, let's explore what the text is really saying.

"You are cursed with a curse: for you have robbed Me, even this whole nation.  Bring all your tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in My house, and prove me says the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open before you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be enough room to contain it.  And I will rebuke the devourer for your sake..."

May I direct your attention away from what you've done to what God does?  He says in verse 11, "I will rebuke the devourer..." I must be honest and admit that I, too, have wrestled with this passage of Scripture.  In my opinion, I think that perhaps we have misapplied what the minor prophet is really saying.  

Early in our marriage, my wife and I suffered the loss of earthly possessions and a good credit score due to financial lack in our home.  However, because I believe the credit industry in this country operates according to demonic principles, maintaining a high credit score is not the goal of my life.  It may give me lower interest rates when I go to borrow money, but it is not an idol in my life.  That's not to say we shouldn't pay our bills on time; it simply overrides the condemnation, shame and guilt the credit industry places upon us when, for reasons beyond our control, we're not able to meet our financial obligations in a timely manner.

Luke 6:38 remains another verse that also throws earnest believers into a quandary.  "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.  For with the same measure you give out, it shall be given back to you."  I refuse to defend God in either one of these verses.  They appear to be ironclad principles, but sometimes things happen to us in life that beckon us to re-consider he deeper messages of these verses.  Let's rightfully divide the Word!

Malachi 3 was written to the nation of Israel who had become arrogant and rebellious toward God.  Their open defiance took them from blessings to curses.  In Luke 6:38, Jesus is not talking about money.  If you look at verse 37, you find that the subject of His discourse is judging and criticizing others.  When we judge and criticize others, it comes back to us many times over--always more severely.

In Malachi, the prophet does not suggest that tithing and giving offerings insures a never-ending supply of money or a problem-free financial existence.  I've seen people who faithfully tithed, and then mishandled the other 90 percent.  Psalm 23:1 reminds us that, "The Lord is our shepherd, and we shall not lack" [what we need].  However, I think we need to re-define "needs versus wants."  In the original Hebrew, the words, "there shall not be room enough to receive it" do not appear in the original manuscripts (Malachi 3:10).  This possibility certainly confuses those who wrestle with greed and get-rich-quick schemes.

The real emphasis lies in verse 11: "And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes..." Some years ago, the Lord gave me insight into this portion:  If a dog attacks you, and sinks his teeth into your leg, he may badly hurt you, but he can't wholly devour you.  In the same way, if the devourer (Satan) tries to devour you, God will not let him completely destroy you.  You may suffer loss, but you still come out on top!  In 1 Peter 5:8 it says, "Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour."

Personally, I tire of the imbalanced preaching I hear regarding the giving of tithes and offerings.  I'm upset with the crowd who teaches that God blesses according to how much we give.  In other words, the size and amount of your blessings are determined by how much you give.  While I believe the Bible supports tithing, I equally believe that God looks at the motivation behind giving. 2 Corinthians 9 is the New Testament correlation to Malachi 3.

I'll continue this discussion in the next post.