No Tattletales!

Nobody likes a tattletale -- an individual who makes it his goal to keep others straight.  They are self-made watchdogs. Snitches.  They are a pain in the neck!

I remember tattling on my brother Jeff when we were growing up.  He had snuck ice cream from our basement freezer and I felt it my duty to tell my parents.  Not only did my parents yell at me, but later Jeff beat me up.  He got a spanking, and I got a black eye!

Did you know that not even God tattles on us?

Since about the late 1980’s, the phrase, “prophetic word” began circulating in certain streams of Christian endeavor.  I personally felt uncomfortable from the very on-set of what is now referred to as the “Prophetic Movement.”  It seemed that everyone had a “word from the Lord.” 

I believe in the office of prophet, simply because the Bible tells us that “Christ Himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip His people for works of service…” (Ephesians 4:11-12).  And Amos 3:7 tells us that before the canon of Scripture (66 books of the Bible) was closed, God spoke nothing except through the prophets. 

Here’s where it gets sticky.  Many today run to prophetic meetings to get a word from the Lord.  People are taught to hear from the Lord and share what they hear.  While I believe the Lord certainly speaks to us, if we will listen, I don’t believe I need to rely on prophetic words to make it through life. 

Let me put it this way:  The Old Testament prophets foretold; prophets today forth tell.  In other words, we have the written Word of God and God certainly speaks messages through His five-fold ministers (apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors-teachers), based on His already revealed Word.  I can in no way elaborate on this wide subject in this blog, except to summarize the overall purpose of each office with these gerunds:

Apostles – to send

Prophets – to see

Pastors – to tend

Teachers – to teach

Evangelists – to preach

Now, back to tattletales.  Like in any move of God, people tend to become imbalanced and even abusive.  The prophetic move certainly brings value to the body of Christ, but sadly some have used this wonderful gift to exploit and “tell on other believers.” 

Let me put it succinctly:  God never tells on His children.  He’s never going to tell one “kid something about another.”  We all have the same access to the throne of grace and God does not favor one request over another.  To see ourselves as personal spokesmen to/for others can bring them harm and confusion.  I believe that God can burden us to pray for others, but I do not believe He gives us a play by play on what other believers have done. This does not line up with the fatherhood aspect of God’s character. 

Even words of knowledge and words of wisdom come with great accountability – those times when God reveals information to specific individuals for specific purposes – when God allows us to “read someone’s mail!”  During these times God reveals His heart of love and calls upon us to pray for those to whom He lays upon our heart. But I personally draw the line with “assembly line” prophetic words.

When I pastored in Elyria, a certain lady kept asking me for a “word.”  She repeatedly said, “Pastor, I need you to give me a word.”  Finally, one Sunday I handed her my Bible and said, “Here’s God’s final Word to you. This is all you need.”  She became indignant at my suggestion!  Here was a woman who kept a prophetic journal, chasing after prophets to “get a word from God.”  I noticed she spent more time journaling and studying prophetic words given to her than reading and studying the Bible for herself.   

Like anything else God does, He desires that we walk in balance while benefitting from this gift. Let’s understand that tattletales have no place in the community of faith!

Don't Feel A Part?

“All the believers were together and had everything in common…every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.  They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people…” (Acts 2:46-47).

I’ve been giving these verses a lot of thought lately.  They describe the lifestyle of early Christians.  Those folks were together all the time.  They did not have nine to five jobs.  They lived in close-knit communities and literally “did life together.”  Obviously, they were not Americans!

Let me explain.  When ministers attempt to “Americanize” this passage of Scripture, frustration results.  I’ve pastored six churches and in each one, we struggled to promote an environment where people could genuinely connect.  Sadly, many felt disconnected from the overall body life of the church and seldom experienced the joy of Christian community. Seeing one another for two hours on Sunday morning does not build community; it may even foster pseudo-relationships.

Unlike the early Christians, we function in a job-driven world.  We have to eat and we have to pay our bills.  We need an income to sustain us.  We have to go to work.  Most of us work 40-60 hours per week, and when we get home, we’re often ready to relax.  Add school activities, meetings, meal preparations, yard work, miscellaneous family obligations and life becomes hectic.  Time becomes a commodity.  Involvement at church many times is placed on hold, or even replaced with life’s “busy-ness.” and/or other alternatives.

  

As a pastor, I sometimes hear individuals say, “I don’t feel part of the church.  Nobody talks to me.  Nobody knows I’m there or not there.”  While this is disconcerting to hear, I get what they’re saying.  I’ve thought long and hard about how we can remedy feelings of disconnection.  We’re making efforts at Hope Community to help individuals find their relationship niche. 

Soon, we are beginning the “Pastor’s Dinner Club.”  Families and individuals will be invited to join my wife and me for an evening meal together – on the church!  Food, both in the Early Church and today, unites peoples’ hearts and tummies like nothing else.  Inhibitions are dropped and effective communication results around dinner tables! 

Second, we plan to re-emphasize small groups.  Additional Hope Groups will be formed to help people make new friends. Be listening for future small group opportunities.

Finally, may I shoot straight?  Relationships require both time and work.  Nothing of value comes easy.  Hit and miss attendance at church, being non-participatory in special services, events, and get-togethers, and coming late and leaving early all make relationship building next to impossible.  Expecting others to take the initiative to “pull us in” is an unreasonable expectation. 

Cold, non-verbal body language repels people and builds walls instead of bridges into others’ lives.  Down-in-the-mouth attitudes, negative speech; critical, judgmental comments, poor listening skills, shyness, and aloofness contribute to feelings of disconnection.  All of us have tried to engage people who give one-word answers or just stare when talked to.  It’s like pulling teeth to carry on a conversation!

What is God saying to you about these drawbacks to good communication and meeting new friends?

One good way to feel part of things and to foster relationships is to become involved. Show up for work day, teach a class, lead a small group, sing on the praise team or play an instrument.  Ask your pastor how you can become involved. 

To pull away from opportunities for involvement makes connection difficult.  Early Christians were connected because they spent a lot of time together. 

Remember, social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and texting – are secondary communication venues.  Nothing surpasses the joy of hanging out with folks, looking them in the eye, hearing their voice and sensing their life pulse. 

Do you struggle with feelings of disconnection from Hope Community or YOUR church?  Let me encourage you to quit blaming others for your lack of disconnection, and begin today to more aggressively pursue opportunities to be part of a Christian community.  We’d love for you to make Hope Community your place “to do life” with other Christ followers. 

Instant Maxwell Coffee

Every child deserves the right to spend quality time with grandparents.  I was blessed with four wonderful grandparents who loved me and, in different ways poured into my life. 

My wife also enjoyed the love of four grandparents who all carried the same last name.  Owens married an Owens!  To set them apart, one was called “Town,” the other “Country.” I asked my wife, “What would you have done had they both lived in town?”

My four children tragically lost their maternal grandparents when they were quite young.  My mom died before any of them were born, and distance usually did not allow them opportunity to spend time with my dad.

As little children, my brothers and sisters and I loved to visit my grandparents’ 90-acre farm.  To me, 5286 Anderson Road in Pierpont was the closest place to heaven on earth!  Memories of waking up to the call of the whippoorwill, and greeting the day with the smells of freshly baked biscuits, crisp bacon, fried eggs and Maxwell Instant Coffee still puts me in a melancholy mood.

Walter Chandler was a tall, slender man who was mostly bald.  How he loved his grandkids!  When we were little, we used to fuss over who was going to sit on his knee at the kitchen table.  Of course, he showed no favoritism, and all of us had our turn. 

We watched in amazement as he poured molasses on his plate, mixed in lots of butter, sopped it up with his biscuit and placed the whole thing in his mouth.  Then he would purposely open wide and let us watch him chew.  How cool!    Grandma would say, “Daddy, now you quit acting like that in front of those children.”  But he seldom listened.

Grandpa’s immediate goal was to get us grandkids started on the right track by drinking coffee.  No grandchildren of his were going to miss out on Maxwell House Instant, if he could help it!  He said that coffee would make our feet turn black.  And he sure did like his strong.  After putting in a heaping teaspoon of coffee into a cup of kettle-boiled water, he began the “doctoring process.”  By the time he quit adding sugar and milk, his coffee had the consistency of maple sugar!

While sitting on his lap and drinking Maxwell Instant Coffee, grandpa would “flick” our head with his thumb.  We thought that was the funniest thing.  Then, he’d use his fingers to stretch the skin.  Sometimes it hurt.  “Now then,” he’d say, “Your brain will have room to grow today.” Grandma usually curtailed his fun activities when he started gnawing on our arms with his teeth!

We were unaware at the time that grandpa was a sickly man who struggled with heart disease.  He loved plowing, disking, planting and hoeing in his garden.  And I loved riding on his Massey Ferguson tractor.  However, he often had to lie down when his strength failed.

We seldom left the farm empty-handed, for when grandpa layed on the couch, he paid each of us kids one quarter to rub his head.

Obviously, grandma was special in her own way, but the memory of grandpa’s fun-loving antics still warms my heart today.  He passed away on his birthday nearly 50 years ago.  He was a good grandpa and I still miss him.  In the meantime, I carry out similar antics toward my grandchildren.  I was taught by the best!

"Letter of the Law"...What's With That?

I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to the phrase, “Letter of the Law.”  Being a pastor, I regularly meet Christ followers who were raised under what I refer to as “law based preaching.”  By definition, I mean preaching that highlights the necessity of religious performance and “doing” over “BEING.”  In other words, preaching that emphasizes man’s role in his salvation and de-emphasizes God’s role.  In my mind, such preaching comes up short, and renders the cross of Christ null and void.    We all seem to struggle with a balanced perspective of genuine Christian living.   

 Individuals who grow up under such preaching tend to be easily identifiable:

1.     Most exhibit anger unaware.  Under legalism, by virtue of its approach, people come up short of God’s righteous demands.  They’re never good enough.  The Old Testament Law, if nothing else, proved than mankind was no match for sin.  Then, add guilt and shame and the end result is frustration, which leads to anger.  Such preaching literally provokes people to anger.  The Scriptures caution fathers not to provoke their children to wrath (anger) by placing unreasonable demands upon them, and by not loving them unconditionally.  The same thing happens when people grow up under a harsh list of “do’s and don’ts,” whereby constantly coming up short of given expectations.  The end result is anger.  I believe it can even turn to misdirected anger toward the Lord Himself; but no one is going to admit that he is mad at Jesus.  Instead, such anger is directed toward the church, its leaders or life in general.  Even those outside the realm of Christian endeavor tend to be law-based in their daily lives – strict and harsh and unrelenting in their approach to people.  It’s a mixed bag, for sure!

2.     Legalistic teaching can produce self-righteous believers.  To escape their real feelings and shortcomings when it comes to effectively serving Christ, some embrace a “super-spiritual” approach to serving Christ.  They assume a type of righteousness that refuses to acknowledge any type of personal spiritual shortcoming.  Instead, they over-compensate and assume a “better than thou” posture and become gatekeepers of the church and usually set themselves up as judges and critics in the House of God.   No one likes a control freak!

3.     Another manifestation of legalism creates a sense of unworthiness in the hearts of people.  This ties in closely to the anger aspect previously discussed.  They never seem to measure up, so they grow weary of falling short, and in frustration give up and depart – some never to return.   I’m convinced, however, that many remain tender toward the Lord, but stay away from spiritual life and local faith communities, believing they cannot be good enough for God to accept.  And they secretly see others as hypocrites who decide to stay the course of law-based living..  It’s a vicious cycle that is repeated; and statistics prove my theory:  Most American churches experience a high dropout rate between the ages of 18-30.  I believe that a sense of unworthiness accommodates their decision. 

       Many have expressed to me their disdain toward church stems primarily from the idea that God is punitive in His approach to humankind, not grace-filled.  One man said, “If I’m going to hell anyway, I might as well have fun doing it.”  HOW SAD!

4.     Legalistic preaching distorts God’s message of grace through Christ (“The law came through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”)  In so doing, it warps the minds of men to reject grace teachings.  Law-driven people may or may not realize deep within that their belief system holds them captive, but because of deep-seated convictions, although false and unsatisfying, have created a comfort zone and set up an impenetrable defense in their hearts to embrace revealed truth.  Their minds, in this respect, become like steel traps that call bondage, “good,” and liberty “suspect.”  Again, HOW SAD!

Can I be honest?  Legalism not only distorts gospel truth; it captivates both individuals and churches.  It binds them to anger, self-righteousness, and low self-esteem.  It robs them of their gracious and glorious inheritance in Christ.  Sadly, many know nothing but law-based living and literally call its strangling hold THE TRUTH.  May they be willing to open their hearts to the true message of the cross, and then “stand fast in the liberty wherein Christ sets them free.”

Frankly, legalistic people steal the joy away from serving Christ.  They make most everything more difficult than it should be.  Their incessant rules put people on edge and drive them away.  The law of sin and death thrives in an atmosphere where rules are elevated above privilege, honor and affirmation.

At age 62, I find myself coming into a new awareness of God’s grace and I want nothing more than to shed my thinking of anything that steals away the beauty of being “in Christ!”

I hope this blog has challenged you to shed your life of any teaching that holds you captive to partial truth.   When it comes to law versus grace, partial truth is a joy stealer!

The Art of Listening

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19a).

Human anatomy seems to support God’s opinion on this matter, when we realize that He gave us two ears and one mouth.  Could it be that He wants us to listen as least twice as much as we speak?  When we talk too much and listen too little, we communicate to others that our ideas are much more important than theirs.  James wisely advises us to reverse the process.

How?  By putting a stopwatch on our conversations and keeping track of how much we talk versus how much we listen.  When we listen to others, we place value upon them.  Few things say, “I care,” like the finely tuned art of listening.

Have you ever talked to someone who never made eye contact and who looked past or around you the entire time?  How did it make you feel?  Embarrassed?  Insulted?  Undervalued?  Recently I engaged a man who talked fast and furiously.  I tried to contribute to the conversation; however, he never came up for air! 

Later I was amused when he said, “You’ll never know how much I enjoyed talking with you.”  I thought to myself, “You’re right!”   That man needs to learn how to listen!

As a hospice chaplain, I spend my days listening to people who are at the jumping off place.  Their impending death drives them to ask questions and to ponder end-of-life issues.  In short, they need a listening ear – someone who cares without judging, preaching or offering opinions. 

During these visits I’ve discovered that active listening often brings solace and relief.  Regrets and unresolved life issues fade into peaceful oblivion as individuals “get things off their chest.”  One of the Apostle James concluding remarks says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed” (5:16a).   

We, of course, understand that Christ has made it possible for us to go directly to God to receive forgiveness.  But confessing our sins (faults) to each other still has an important place in our lives.  Good listeners many times offer troubled hearts assurance of God’s pardon.

A man received a terminal diagnosis from his doctor and subsequently struggled with a specific unconfessed sin of his youth.  He paid for his high school girlfriend’s two abortions and carried the weight of his guilt for over six decades.  He often drowned his pain in alcohol. 

I will never forget the day I heard his heart-wrenching story.  I listened without interruption for one hour, and then assured him of God’s offer to forgive.  A few days before he died, he held my hand and thanked me for listening.  He died in peace.

As we enter a new year, let’s purpose to become better listeners.  Look for practical ways to develop your listening skills.  Offer good eye contact and focus.  Listen carefully.  By doing so, you place value upon another life that may desperately need to feel your loving concern.